I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Boyfriend has kidney stones, and he was up with pain. I was up with grief. While today was my 2nd Mother’s Day without mom being here physically with me, in many ways it was harder. Last year we had mom’s memorial service the day before Mother’s Day (Saturday, May 10th), and Sunday May 11th I spent time with 2 of my mom’s first cousins, which helped tremendously. Last night I was just sad. The old thoughts come back of “did I do enough for my mom?” I know I did, and I know nothing would ever feel like enough. The best thing I have found to do for myself when grief happens in the middle of the night is to distract myself by watching television. I do allow myself some time to think, but I try to do it more during daylight hours, when grief is easier to deal with.
Today I had a lovely day with my boyfriend and his mother. I never had the chance to get to know my mother-in-law, when I had one, so this whole spending time with a significant others family is still new to me. I’m happy to say that we had a very nice few hours together. She is a very warm, very intelligent woman and I look forward to getting to know her more over time.
Oh, and today’s weigh in on my own scale showed a 5 pound drop……so heading in the right direction again. Hunger is way under control, so I can firmly say I am living proof that too much of artificial sweeteners can mess things up and trick your body.
Overall, a fine day. But I must say that I’m glad Mother’s Day is over.