Perusing the blogs


The boyfriend and I are very different in our television habits.  I have a few shows I like to watch…..Grey’s Anatomy, Kardashians (I know, but I’m obviously not the only person watching), Louie…..he is a typical man with 5 shows happening at once and watching all of them, sort of.  Point being, I would rather read or do anything on the computer and/or tablet.  So lately I’ve been reading some new-to-me blogs about obesity and weight loss.  Sure helps to know I’m not alone.

It’s so sad when you can spot when someone is not really ready yet.  I’m an expert at not being ready yet.  My entire 2014 I was not ready yet.  I think I am, and I put all of these plans in place, etc…..but I really was not.  Anyway, when I see others writing in the same way, my heart goes out to them.  For instance, there is a woman I’m following who is in the first few days of her journey.  The rules and regulations she set out for herself (really, really strict, I might add) were amended day one (never a good sign), and have changed each day since.  And whenever I read/hear “I have to exercise every day” I know this is not a good sign…because it’s simply unrealistic, and it’s also unhealthy.

I wish that I could help all of us with addiction tendencies.  On another blog I read something like “I wish I could eat like a normal person”.  If I had a dollar for every time I’ve thought that about myself…..

This entry is a bit jumbled and stream of consciousness, but that’s ok.

I’ve been HUNGRY for the last 3 days.  HUNGRY.  Thinking that appetite suppressants are not all they are cracked up to be.  Currently, the clinic has me on Phentermine or something like that.  Whatevs.

Today I got my uncle’s dna profile…..which only made me sadder that I can’t have my mom’s profile done.  I can get through the days now without thinking about missing her so much, but it still seems unreal that I have to live the rest of my life without my mom physically here with me.  Mother’s Day is coming, and that just seems like a strange, empty day.  Kind of like a holiday for a religion you don’t personally practice.  Last year, my first Mother’s Day without my mom, was the day after her memorial service, and her cousins came to my house on their way up to Wisconsin to see other family (their’s, not mine)….so that was nice.  This year I will be visiting my boyfriend’s mother with him, which will also be nice.

But I would do anything to have one more day with my mom.

3 responses »

  1. My doctor gave me phentermine. I was like a total wonder drug. I felt like I was on top of the world and of course had no appetite. And I lost at least 20 lbs in the first month I think. But when I came off of it (because I you can’t be on it for more than a short, limited time) I was ravenous beyond belief and far worse out of control than I had ever been. I pray this won’t happen to you. Please let us know of your positive experiences with it…

    • Thank you for making me aware of the watchouts! I’m not totally comfortable using an appetite suppressant, but considering maintenance is difficult no matter what, I figure I might as well use all the tools allowed. But I will take heed of your experience, and I’m so grateful we found each other on the interwebs!!! 🙂

      • Me too, Amy. I’m so happy to know you. Listen, I have a feeling that one of the first steps before I get the surgery will be to lose some weight, and who knows, they will probably prescribe ME some more phentermine or something to help while I’m on such a restrictive pre-op diet. Don’t know yet…

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