Monthly Archives: May 2015

Two other thoughts

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One………..

I plan on keeping Tuesdays as my official weigh-in day.  Official where I report it to all of you here on the interwebs.  My stalkers.

Two…………..

Instead of buying the expensive 100-calorie packs of almonds I decided to buy a large bag of 32 ounces for $9.99 and baggie all of them up myself.  With the nutrition label set for 30g (or 1/4 cup) at 170 calories, I did about two thousand snack baggies of 15g each, or 85 calories.  Took probably 30-45 minutes.  Don’t know how much money I actually saved, You have to figure time, as well as cost of baggies.  Probably not much.  One thing I know for sure…..it takes some emotional strength to measure out two thousand baggies of almonds at 15g each.  Or insanity.

Week 15 Check-In

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Date: 5/26/15

Loss(-)/Gain(+):  -4.5 lbs

Current Weight:  229.5 lbs


So this was my last weigh-in at the Medi-Weightloss Clinic of Deerfield, Illinois, before they close their doors on 5/31.  According to their scale I weighed 228.8, but I’m converting my “official” numbers to be off of my own scale, a Fitbit Wi-fi scale.

I have decided to go it alone, with periodic visits to my family doctor.  I need to change my appointment so that I see her before my phentermine pills run out (I have 3 weeks worth left).  If she doesn’t want me on the pills, fine, but then I need to understand from her how to taper off properly.  I also want to understand from her what her opinion is on B1/B6/B12 shots….which I received B1/B6 shots once per week and B12 twice per week.  I have no idea if the shots helped, or what they were to help…..

Here are my stats:

Starting Weight Current Weight Goal Weight Weeks on Plan Total Lost Weekly Avg Monthly Avg Pounds to Goal
282 229.5 175 15 52.5 3.5 15.155 54.5

I certainly do not think I will lose 3.5 pounds per week average the entire time.  I expect it to slow down.  If I lose an average of 2.5 pounds per week I will hit my goal by my mom’s birthday, 10/25.

OK, laundry is calling.  More soon.  🙂

Week 14 Check-In

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Date: 5/19/15

Loss(-)/Gain(+):  -6.0 lbs

Current Weight:  234.0 lbs


Good news today, and also bad news.

Six pounds lost, which is great!  Spent the entire week under 30 carbs per day (total carbs), which means I had almost no veggies.

Unfortunately, the Medi-Weightloss Clinic of Deerfield, IL is closing it’s doors at the end of next week.  So I will have one week left with them.  It’s a well-established weight loss method on the east coast, but has very few locations in the midwest, and this franchisee couldn’t make it work.  They are refunding everyone whatever their balance is, but I bought the 16 appointment package (the largest package with the most “deal”) and next week will be my 16th appointment.

I feel really bad for the people who work there.  They are all very sad, and they are all very sad for all of the patients.

So what am I going to do?  Well, I have an idea in mind.  I think I’m just going to work with my internist to get the appetite suppressant, and probably have to have somewhat regular visits with her.  And then do it on my own.  I can check my blood pressure here at the house.  I have a nice scale (the Fitbit wi-fi one).  i have my dad, my friend Kim, and all of you to check in with as far as my weekly numbers.  And I can still order medi-weightloss products (should I choose to) as well as the other products I use (Bari-wise and WonderSlim off of Dietdirect.com).

More to come, but that is my initial thought.

Week 13 Check-In (a couple of days late)

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Date: 5/12/15

Loss(-)/Gain(+):  +1.4 lbs

Current Weight:  240.0 lbs


Well, I’m 2 days passed being pissed.  Other than the gum, which I’ve written about and threw away last Thursday night, I stayed ON PLAN.  Or what I knew the plan to be for myself.

In 2012 I was losing a huge amount of weight, and I figured I was in ketosis when I was 50 total carbs or under per day.  Well, apparently I was not in ketosis.  Or being 3 years younger made a difference.  Or who the hell knows what.

The ladies at the clinic and I just can’t figure out how I gained, because even with a calorie deficit, taking account of BMR, I should STILL be losing, and NOT gaining for the last 3 weeks.  So all we can figure is my carbs are too high, and my hunger is more, so I eat more protein calories overall, and then because I’m not in ketosis the body is storing the “extra calories” (which, I remind you is STILL a DEFICIT).

Disgusted.

So the plan for this week is to be under 30 total carbs each day.  I haven’t eaten vegetables since Monday night.  I just peed on the stick and I’m in ketosis, so perhaps I will have some veggies tomorrow, but I’m thinking I may do a lot of days without veggies at all if I have to stay so low just to be in ketosis.

I know that’s not terribly healthy, but let’s face it, I didn’t gain all the weight by eating vegetables/fruits…..so if I have to go a few months with very few vegetables/no fruit, well, oh well.  Short term stress on the body for long term benefits.  I’ll eat vegetables and fruits when I get to my goal.

This is just damn difficult.  And yet, I’m so blessed to work from home so I’m not forced to have potlucks and whatnot in my face every day.

So that’s the scoop.  Not terribly positive, but onward we go.

A very nice day overall

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I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.  Boyfriend has kidney stones, and he was up with pain.  I was up with grief.  While today was my 2nd Mother’s Day without mom being here physically with me, in many ways it was harder.  Last year we had mom’s memorial service the day before Mother’s Day (Saturday, May 10th), and Sunday May 11th I spent time with 2 of my mom’s first cousins, which helped tremendously.  Last night I was just sad.  The old thoughts come back of “did I do enough for my mom?”  I know I did, and I know nothing would ever feel like enough.  The best thing I have found to do for myself when grief happens in the middle of the night is to distract myself by watching television.  I do allow myself some time to think, but I try to do it more during daylight hours, when grief is easier to deal with.

Today I had a lovely day with my boyfriend and his mother.  I never had the chance to get to know my mother-in-law, when I had one, so this whole spending time with a significant others family is still new to me.  I’m happy to say that we had a very nice few hours together.  She is a very warm, very intelligent woman and I look forward to getting to know her more over time.

Oh, and today’s weigh in on my own scale showed a 5 pound drop……so heading in the right direction again.  Hunger is way under control, so I can firmly say I am living proof that too much of artificial sweeteners can mess things up and trick your body.

Overall, a fine day.  But I must say that I’m glad Mother’s Day is over.

The Journey Gets Real

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Somehow I knocked myself out of ketosis, and it can only be one of two things, of which I will get to.

And I know I knocked myself out, not because of ketostix (peeing on a stick), because after a few days my body simply uses ketones efficiently, and there is never enough in my urine to get a reading.  I know because I hopped on the scale this morning and I was 5 pounds heavier…..and my time of the month is over.  So the weight gain is glycogen and water…..aka out of ketosis.

So, how did this happen?  I’m a bit perplexed by this one.  From a pure calories in/calories out perspective, I’m still way under my BMR daily needs.  From a carb/net carb perspective I’m under 40 carbs per day (and my threshold at least used to be 50-55).

The only things I did differently this week are 1) chew gum (sugar-free) like its my job and 2) added some unsweetened almond milk to my protein shakes along with some PB2.

As for the gum…..I’m talking 20-40 pieces per day.  And while it’s sugar-free, it has one carb per piece, and has the dreaded artificial sweetener which can fake your body into producing insulin as well as make you hungry.  Well, it was certainly making me hungry.  Like rendering the appetite suppressant useless kind of hunger.  I was eating more protein/more calories to satisfy my hunger.  Thursday night I actually threw out all the gum I had in my possession, and will not be purchasing more until I’m at goal weight, and maybe never.  It’s possible that gum is a gateway drug/trigger for me…..so I have to stay away.  It helps to have it to keep my mouth busy with chewing, as well as having something really sweet….but I have to go back to drinking hot coffee/tea with a little artificial sweetener or a PowerAde Zero for a sweet fix.

As for the almond milk….well I use Silk Vanilla UNSWEETENED Almond Milk, which is less than 1 carb per serving, 30 calories per serving, and one serving is 8 ounces.  So I’ve been adding almond milk to my shakes to add a little extra flavor and texture.  Then I’ve also added 1 TBSP of PB2 here and there to my shakes (and 1 TBSP is only 4 carbs)….again, I’ve accounted for the carbs in all of this……so all I can figure is my body is faked out by the sweetness, even artificial that it is, and it’s now out of ketosis.

So my plan going forward is the following:

1.  No more gum.  Threw it all out Thursday night, so haven’t had any since then.

2.  No more almond milk in shakes (a little in coffee is ok) and no more PB2 in shakes until I see weight loss, then I will limit it to a “treat” and in smaller quantities (perhaps only 4oz of almond milk in a shake per day, and 1 teaspoon of PB2 once a day.

Weight loss and weight maintenance are not perfect.  Even these accidental slip-ups can make a person feel down on themselves, but I don’t let it get me down for long.  I know it was truly an accident, so I’ve analyzed what could be the culprit(s) and have a plan to go forward.  It’s all I can do.

Over and out!