What’s up?

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OK, I’ve been quiet recently.  A lot of stress both personally and professionally.  Personally is all about the growing pains I’ve had with my mom given that I have a relationship now.  Professionally I can’t write about.

Any of my stalkers know the trials and tribulations I’ve had during these last pounds (200 down to whatever) since January.  Up and down and back and forth and on and off.

I’ve made the decision to go off of Ideal Protein and do the last 30 pounds on my own.  With exercise.  With occasional frozen yogurt and margaritas and corn on the cob.  If it takes me a year to lose the 30 pounds, oh well.

I can no longer deprive myself of carbs, and of foods that everyone else on earth eats.  7 months of solid Ideal Protein, and 6 months of back and forth……enough already.  Enough with the money spent.  Enough with the eating one thing “off plan” and gaining 5 pounds of glycogen.  

After all, maintenance is not supposed to include IP foods, so I’m doing the rest my way.

Yes, I’ve declared this before.  But I mean it this time.

Now, the last couple of weeks I did the typical eating crazy amounts of sugar, which seems to be what people do when they go off plan.  It’s got to be because of the deprivation.  I’m starting to feel a bit more stable with the crazy “feed me sugar”, so that’s good.  

This week I’m not calorie-counting.  I’m simply trying to be mindful, but I’m not doing so well with that.  I’m just over 200 again (yes, a couple of weeks ago I hit 185)….but so much of it is glycogen, inflammation, and water retention.  Once I stabilize, and stop eating sugar sugar sugar this should improve.

Tonight I went to the gym and did Week 1, Day 1 of Couch-to-5K.  I figured I should start over, and it felt so good.  Then I did an hour on strength machines.

So that is what has been going on.  I’ve been internally struggling, and then internally embarrassed by the weight gain/fluctuations.  But, as I’ve said before, it’s all part of the journey.  I’m not giving up, I’m simply modifying my route.

I will never give up. It’s the journey, not the destination.  Perhaps I will never weigh less than 180.  But I want to tighten up, and I want my health to be fabulous.  So that’s that.

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2 responses »

  1. I was wondering where you had been! I so enjoy reading your blog 🙂 Don’t beat yourself up, you have done sooo awesome!! I often go back and read some of your older entries to remind myself of how your struggle and victory was fought, trying to find the motivation to get myself to where you are. I did it about 7 years ago, but let the weight slowly creep back on and now I am back to where my highest was and I am embarrassed to participate in my reunions this summer 🙂 For those of us that have struggle with weight all our lives, it is an issue that NEVER goes away and unless you have been there, you truly don’t understand. You have had so much perseverance, that I have no doubt you will succeed. If it takes all summer, or if it takes five years. Keep your chin up and remind yourself that you are an inspiration to your stalkers!!

  2. Amy…GOOD FOR YOU! I know I have said this before, but you are not alone-that’s why I follow you!
    I am kind of in the same mindset, I am going back to playing soccer this week after 7 months off from ACL & meniscus surgery and have been up and down the same 8 lbs since February—
    I AM SICK OF THAT…as much as I loved the results from IP, I hated that I still wasn’t really doing it on my own, and that was constant fear…and that ultimately I was( did you read “WAS”) 16 lbs from my goal and couldn’t handle the freedom of a modified program.
    Sugar wasn’t my nemisis until now—maybe your on to something with the deprivation causing crazy reactions since previously I was a salt junky. I too am working on being mindful and am completely shocked after a year of IP that I can still mindless eat ( I accused coworkers of eating the almonds on my desk yesterday).
    I also uploaded RunDouble to my phone and planned on jumping into it tonight!
    Keep us posted please!

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