Daily Archives: June 19, 2013

Getting to the bottom of the sugar craze

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OK Lori, this post is for you.

You and I are not the only ones who binge on sugar after leaving IP.  You and I are not the only ones who were former salt/carb addicts, and now mysteriously only want sugar.

So there’s got to be something there.

Before IP I would not pass up dessert.  What 300 pound person passes up dessert?  But at 300 pounds I craved pizza, pasta, bread, rice, chips, etc….and dessert just topped it all off.  But now, as a 185-205 pound person whenever I leave the no sugar/low carb plan of Ideal Protein it’s like I can’t get enough sugar.

I can pass by pizza, pasta, bread, rice, chips, etc…..I can make “healthy” meal choices…a la proteins and non-starchy veggies.  But I can eat desserts like the end of the world is coming.

Let me tell you what I ate yesterday……

  • 4 big cookies at a work meeting.
  • 1 big dish of Yogurtland
  • 2 Weight Watchers desserts (yeah, funny, right?)
  • 1 box, yes box, yes the entire box, of Girl Scout thin mints from the freezer

This was after I knew I was going back “on plan” today.

And believe me, there have been a few days over the last 2 weeks where my sugar eating has been that way…..where I get a dessert at Culvers only to hit Yogurtland immediately after, and then get a Steak & Shake milkshake a few hours later.  Oh yeah, I said it.

True food addiction behavior.

How could someone who has lost 100 pounds revert to this behavior?  Easy.  It’s an addiction.

My mother has always been a fan of Robert Downey Jr., who very publicly struggled with drug addiction.  Whenever she says to me “just stop it!” I ask her if she would have said that to Robert Downey Jr.  For that moment she “gets it”, but then will say “just stop it” a week later so obviously she doesn’t really “get it”.

The addiction is like having an out-of-body experience.  I can sit there knowing I shouldn’t eat the item but I eat it anyway.  I know I’m putting my health at risk.  I know I’m putting my waistline and clothes fitting at risk.  I know I’m putting my relationship at risk (he didn’t sign up for dating an obese woman, and that’s never been a secret).  And yet I still eat the item.

Until the health community and society-at-large recognizes food addiction as a real thing plaguing so many of us, it’s going to be even more difficult to get the help we really need.

So back to my original thought……why do so many of us (most of us? all of us?) who leave Ideal Protein (or other no sugar/low carb diets) go absolutely batshit berserk for sugar when we used to be salt freaks?  Is it the deprivation?  What is it????

Hopefully we will figure this out, and more importantly, find a way to incorporate *some* amount of “reasonable” sugar back into our lives without it triggering some crazy addiction behavior.

Because all I want is the ability to enjoy a Yogurtland a couple of times a week on a summer night and not have the binges that I do now.

Hiding from myself

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Last night after I wrote my posting I decided to go back on IP for the next week or two at the most to shed the weight I gained, and then force myself to transition off SLOWLY and not binge on sugar.  I have enough product to get the weight off I gained.  I’m not happy with where I am weight-wise.  It’s amazing how different 204 feels from 189.  My clothes are tighter, I carry 14 pounds of it around my middle and 1 extra pound in my face.  That’s an exaggeration, but you know what I mean.

My mom is actually doing me a favor and calling the clinic to cancel me out of my future appointments, stating financial hardship.  I feel like a weenie not being able to call myself, but what are you going to do?  Although I’ve had some hard times recently with my mom, she still has my back 1000% of the time (yes, I meant to put 1000), and for that I’m eternally grateful.

So the plan is to get to 190 in the next week or two via IP, but I’m still going to run and exercise.  Then I’ll phase off and continue to run, and lose the remaining weight via mindful eating and exercise.

I appreciate the nudges and comments from you, more than you will ever know.  I get so much from all of you by sharing my story.  It’s just another way of staying accountable.

Hugs to one and all today!

What’s up?

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OK, I’ve been quiet recently.  A lot of stress both personally and professionally.  Personally is all about the growing pains I’ve had with my mom given that I have a relationship now.  Professionally I can’t write about.

Any of my stalkers know the trials and tribulations I’ve had during these last pounds (200 down to whatever) since January.  Up and down and back and forth and on and off.

I’ve made the decision to go off of Ideal Protein and do the last 30 pounds on my own.  With exercise.  With occasional frozen yogurt and margaritas and corn on the cob.  If it takes me a year to lose the 30 pounds, oh well.

I can no longer deprive myself of carbs, and of foods that everyone else on earth eats.  7 months of solid Ideal Protein, and 6 months of back and forth……enough already.  Enough with the money spent.  Enough with the eating one thing “off plan” and gaining 5 pounds of glycogen.  

After all, maintenance is not supposed to include IP foods, so I’m doing the rest my way.

Yes, I’ve declared this before.  But I mean it this time.

Now, the last couple of weeks I did the typical eating crazy amounts of sugar, which seems to be what people do when they go off plan.  It’s got to be because of the deprivation.  I’m starting to feel a bit more stable with the crazy “feed me sugar”, so that’s good.  

This week I’m not calorie-counting.  I’m simply trying to be mindful, but I’m not doing so well with that.  I’m just over 200 again (yes, a couple of weeks ago I hit 185)….but so much of it is glycogen, inflammation, and water retention.  Once I stabilize, and stop eating sugar sugar sugar this should improve.

Tonight I went to the gym and did Week 1, Day 1 of Couch-to-5K.  I figured I should start over, and it felt so good.  Then I did an hour on strength machines.

So that is what has been going on.  I’ve been internally struggling, and then internally embarrassed by the weight gain/fluctuations.  But, as I’ve said before, it’s all part of the journey.  I’m not giving up, I’m simply modifying my route.

I will never give up. It’s the journey, not the destination.  Perhaps I will never weigh less than 180.  But I want to tighten up, and I want my health to be fabulous.  So that’s that.