Daily Archives: May 29, 2013

In summary

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Look people, if I was held captive in a Turkish prison (no offense to Turkish prisons, they just always seem to be the fictional place soap opera characters go when their character has been presumed dead for years, then voila! They reappear) I would be able to lose 20 more pounds.  Probably a lot more than that.

That would be based on starvation, which I don’t want to do….nobody does….but the bottom line is the weight will come off.  Therefore, it can come off doing Ideal Protein too.  It can come off doing other programs too, but I know IP works for me, so I’m sticking with that.

I’m grateful for all who read my blog, and all who comment.  Your words of support are awesome.  I can only hope that by reading all that I’ve gone through in the past year has helped at least a few people.

I know the act of writing has helped me.  

Good friends are the best

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I’m so very thankful for my good friend at work (my work spouse) who let me be an emotional crazy bag lady this afternoon.  I’m grateful for his very calm demeanor, and his analytical approach to life.  I also appreciate his 2 cents on the hypothetical situation I described in an earlier post.

To sum up his thoughts…..from the man’s perspective he simply does not want to enable the woman.  She’s the one who has always said she wanted to lose 20 more pounds.  She’s not finished until she says she is finished.  It’s her battle.  It’s her “thing”.  All he should do is get out of the way, and tell bad jokes from time to time.  It’s obvious he digs her stuff.  It’s obvious he finds her attractive.

So chill the heck out, hypothetical woman!

Work spouse also said that anyone in my zip code and surrounding zip codes knows what I did in the last year and is in complete awe.  He said that 98% of people just say “I could never even attempt that”, then out of the 2% that try, only a small percentage of them accomplish even 50% of what I did.

That’s what he said.  Then he wrapped it all up by calling me a good egg.

I don’t know if it’s ketosis, the weather, or just a slight manic phase….but my mind has been going 3000 mph lately, and it’s no wonder I’m trying to get everything figured out and drive myself nuts in the meantime.

Big sigh.

No relief

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Running gave me relief.  On this diet I can’t run.

Unfortunately this diet is making me crazy.  And work is not great right now.  So I need the stress-relief.

For 38 years my stress-relief was food.  I can’t have food.  I can’t run.

All I’m doing is sleeping, crying, being overly emotional, and a crazy mess.

Fun, huh?  I’m a regular joy to be around currently.

Conflicted for weeks

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I’m so conflicted because I am satisfied, to a degree, with where I am currently weight-wise.  How could I not be thrilled with 189 when I was 305 one year ago?  How could I not think I’m pretty, and “normal-sized” when I buy clothes in the ladies section and not the women’s or plus-sized?  Would it be so terrible to stay where I am right now and learn to maintain right here?

I don’t think it would be terrible.  Not at all.

I would feel more secure if I lost the 20 pounds…..but I just don’t know if my body will budge.  I first got to 189 at the end of March.  So it’s been 2 months, with 2 significant lapses in the diet.

The diet works, the diet works, the diet works, the diet works.

I feel like I’m at the point of the journey where I need a little boost.  I need someone in my life to tell me I’m perfect the weight I am, and if I never lost another pound, that’s fine.  If I heard those words it would give me the boost I need to go forth.  Because then I would know I was doing it 100% for me, and not partially out of fear of losing the person.

False advertising

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Is this false advertising?

This is a hypothetical scenario.  Please chime in with your thoughts…..

If a formerly morbidly obese woman loses 115 pounds, and has every intention of losing 20 more….so much so that she blogs about it, and tells everyone at work about it, all of her friends, and someone she meets and begins a relationship with.

But the 20 pounds hang on for dear life.

She had the intention.  She still is trying to work towards losing.  She is doing everything in her power to get there.  But the weight doesn’t budge.

Adding to the pressure is the fact the man she is with prefers thin women.  And when asked, he doesn’t state one way or the other if he would stay with her if she never lost another pound.  When asked if he’s with her conditionally there is no response.  Usually no response means the response is “yes”.

And what if, God forbid, the woman gains 10 pounds over the years?  20 pounds?

Perhaps the mistake the woman made was trying to date before she was at her stable weight (goal weight, whatever)?  Or perhaps the mistake the woman made was making it so well known that she wanted to lose more weight?

 

Hrmph

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189.8 this morning.  Feeling less bloated, probably released some water weight.  I ate some hot dogs (no bun) over the weekend, and with their sodium content I’m sure that is what was going on. Just a bummer to be back on plan for one week now, and to weigh more on Wednesday than I did Friday.  Does the last 20 pounds really have to be this difficult?