OK, enough with the back and forth.
Today is day 1, again. This will be the last day 1, hear me now, if it kills me (it won’t…you know what I mean).
Sugar is of the devil and the devil has been with me since my vacation. I fell into some habits of stress eating this past week, and that is going to be a lifelong struggle. What was stressful? Well, tension at home didn’t help. Also, a professional disappointment that I’ve been putting a brave face on is the biggest trigger.
The good news is I continue to curb the stress eating fairly quickly. I could let it go for 10, 20, 30 more pounds and in the past I would have. No more. So that’s a victory in and of iteself!
I have to wonder if there is some fear about getting to whatever my goal is. I still don’t know what my goal is for real. I want to have an attainable and sustainable goal, and I’m unsure I will know what that is until I get there.
I play with the thought of 170, and then I play with the thought of 160. I play with the thought of going based on size of clothing. It was just so much easier when I had firmer goals…..like getting under 250, under 200, off of certain meds, etc…..
Now the emergency is over and it’s difficult to stay on course. My health is great, my doctors are thrilled, and I look darn good. However, I know I’m not where I want to be, and it’s time to stop tip-toeing around it.
Now that I have no vacation in sight I should be able to go a full 2 months completely on phase 1 plan and lose this remaining weight. I know that once I get to day 3-4 of phase 1 the sugar cravings and headaches go away, and it’s actually not that bad. I just need to get there.
Ok stalkers, so in full disclosure, I weighed in this morning at 197.0. 37 more pounds to go. or 27. I just don’t know……sigh.
And no, just because I have crappy food in my house for my mom and another person does not mean I will cheat. I lived with crappy food in my house for the first 9 months and never cheated once. So it’s about mindset and helping my body and brain get past the addiction of sugar, which only takes 3-4 days.
I need to create an emergency for myself. Like, aliens will invade if I’m not at my goal by August 1st. Or, Johnny Depp will be kidnapped by Al Qaeda. Or…….I’m out of ideas.
Over and out. Day one. I can do it. I’ve lost over 100 pounds….I can do anything.