My head is spinning right now.
So much I can’t really write about specifically, because it has to do with career matters. But there are many things to contemplate, and the next little while will be interesting to say the least.
On a personal level I’m both extremely happy and extremely stressed at the same time. A new person has filled my life with vivid color. Imagine a coloring book that a child draws in. This person uses every color in the box, colors on every page in the book, does not color inside the lines, and then rips out the pages and takes those pages and creates other items with them, like paper airplanes and the like.
Then I have another important person in my life who has been there since I was born who wants to use only the black crayon and colors very specifically within the lines. This person doesn’t want other colors on her pages and does not understand why I would. It’s a true power struggle, but I’m going to persevere, because it’s what is right for me. And that person deep down knows it…..but change is difficult. This morning we had a big blowout, and it basically boiled down to jealousy, and the fact that she misses me….but wouldn’t admit to it. Instead, she would rather act cold, like a big insolent baby. It’s exhausting, and it’s taking away from my happiness.
To be continued…..