Monthly Archives: April 2013



This morning I weighed in at 188.7, down from 189.0 the other day.  On Thursday, 4/11, I weighed 205.3.  So I will take the 16.6 weight loss for 2 weeks.  Yes, it was mostly water & glycogen, but some of it’s “real”.  From this point until my goal it will be probably 1-2 pounds per week, which is A-OK with me.

A few weeks ago my doctor thought 170 would be a great goal.  As I get closer to that number, I just don’t know.  Perhaps I’ll go to 160 and play in the 160’s with normal fluctuations.

I know 2 things for sure:

  1. My face has never looked thinner.  I shocked myself in the work restroom today my face looks so good.
  2. My blood pressure was 100/66 this morning at the doctor’s office (yearly checkup).  She joked they would have to revive me.  Public service announcement….ideal blood pressure is 120/80.  Until the end of July 2012 when I went off of BP meds, I had been on blood pressure meds since my early 20’s.
  3. I’m leaving for vacation in less than 48 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could life get any better?  SURE!!!!  Why not?  I deserve it!

Have a great day everybody!

Vacation food


I’ve been mulling around for a couple of weeks how I’m going to eat on vacation.  The good news is I’m traveling with someone who is supportive of my new eating habits, and is not trying to sabotage me.

As a refresher, ketosis is when your body is in a state of burning fat for fuel.  Weight loss can happen based on purely calorie restriction.  For instance….I could lose weight eating only doritos as long as I ate 1500 calories of doritos per day and nothing else.  However, because that is nothing but processed carbs, I will have sugar highs, crashing lows, and huge hunger for most of the day.  Plus, as I lose weight, I will actually lose more muscle than fat.  The goal is to not only lose pounds and inches, but to have those pounds and inches be “mostly” from fat loss, not muscle.

So to stay in ketosis (fat-burning mode), I need to stay at or around 50-55 grams of carbs per day.

What I can’t eat:

  • bread
  • pasta
  • rice
  • potatoes
  • corn
  • peas
  • breading on foods
  • pizza crust
  • no sugar… candy, cake, ice cream, or fruits.

Just one cookie will throw my body out of Ketosis, and it takes 3 days to get back into it.

What can I eat?

  • Eggs
  • chicken
  • beef
  • pork
  • fish
  • almost all veggies (again, not potatoes, corn, peas, and a few others)
  • I get to have olive oil, in moderation.
  • IP products

What I can’t drink:

  • soda, regular or diet
  • alcohol
  • gatorade and the like
  • kool-aid and the like
  • fruit juices

What I can drink:

  • Water
  • Sparkling water
  • Coffee
  • Tea (I hate tea)

Cons to eating whatever I want on vacation, even if I “watch” what I eat

  1. Weight gain (even just the 5 pounds of “fake” glycogen weight is not appealing)
  2. Bloating due to putting crap in my body
  3. Clothes tighter/don’t look as good….including swimsuit
  4. Less energy
  5. More money because it would mean I would provide none of my own food at all
  6. Person I’m with might worry about me, even just a little
  7. I’ll have anxiety about “is that too much, etc…”

Pros to eating whatever I want on vacation

  1. don’t have to pack food
  2. get to fully enjoy the “food experience” of where I’m going

So there you go….in black and white…..7 cons to 2 pros.  Seems to me that eating on my plan far surpasses eating off my plan.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, my eating plan is very strict.  You are either “on plan” or “off plan”.  The littlest “cheat” (one bite of chocolate, one taste of ice cream) and that’s it…..out of ketosis!

So dear stalkers, what I’ve decided to do is the following:

Barring some crazy unforeseen circumstance I’m going to eat completely on my diet except for one night.  One night, either Thursday night or Friday night (depends on the itinerary), I will indulge in dessert(s).  Then the next day it’s back 100% on track.  It will take me 3 days to get back into ketosis, and will stall my weight loss, but there will not be true weight gain and minimal bloating (if at all).

So that’s that.  I would say “wish me luck” but I don’t need luck.  I can do this.  I can do anything.  I’ve lost over one hundred pounds.  I got this.



I’m really tired so I predict this post will be short and boring.

Because I love bullet points and lists…..

  • I’m really tired.  I did not sleep the last several days due to having a lot going on with wrapping up school for this semester and preparing for my trip.  I’m not looking for sympathy, just stating a fact.
  • I’m also tired because I’m currently living around stress, which is not fun for anyone.  Hopefully that improves soon.  If not, I’m leaving Saturday, so it will at least improve then.
  • Yesterday morning I weighed a new all-time low of 189.0.  Previously low was 189.4.  I’m now in new weight loss.  Typical for me, when I hit a new low I stay off the scale for a few days lest it bounces up slightly.
  • Once I hit 185 I will clinically be “overweight” and no longer “obese”.  I do believe if I hit that weight by my trip I may not deviate from my diet at all on my trip.  But I may not deviate anyway.  Yeah, it might be a little difficult to resist some temptations, but I’ll be having plenty of fun that it won’t be too bad.  Case in point….this morning someone brought in a plethora of bagels, donuts, fruit, and coffee and sat them on the cabinets right down my cube row.  I took some coffee, smelled the donuts and bagels, and went on my way.  And I didn’t even have my usual “really?” whine that I normally have with all of the food in the office.
  • I have only 2 more meetings to get through today, so hopefully I can do it with the ability to string coherent thoughts together.  I’m only attending them, not leading them, so that takes some pressure off.

Over and out.

Patriotic knitting projects within the United States


So far, by my count, I’ve worked on my final for 12 hours already.  I’ve got another few hours of work to go, but I will be able to be finished by tomorrow night.  I’m not going to turn in my stuff until Tuesday or Wednesday though.  There is a reason for that, which is too boring to blog about….just know that I know what I’m doing.

A couple of thoughts on my final…..

  1. It has now been proven to me that they are not just passing out master’s degrees on the street.  This is a good thing.
  2. I hope I can live the rest of my life without ever having to think about how to catalog a book about patriotic knitting projects within the United States.  Actually, if I ever come across that book I’m going to burn it.  Yes, I will burn a book.  Just that book.  I hate that book.  
  3. There comes a point with every final paper/presentation/exam where you just don’t care anymore and want to turn it in no matter what state it’s in.  I’m about 2 hours from that point.
  4. Nobody will die if I don’t maintain my 4.0 GPA.  That said, I’m pretty sure I should be able to swing a solid A out of this class too.  After this class I will be 1/3 of the way through my program.  Yippee!  I love school, though, and may want to continue on.
  5. When it comes to school work and my eating habits it seems I’m either starving or can barely take time to eat.  Today it was barely take time to eat.

OK, I’m now going to bed.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The past is past


A friend of mine just got divorced at the age of 49, after contemplating it several times over the last decade, and after being with the person for 30 years.  She’s had to work through a lot of thoughts of wishing she had divorced 10 years ago, 20 years ago, whatever.

And I always tell her that at least she did it at the age of 49 and not 59.  She agrees, and we move on.

However, I’ve had more and more of these thoughts recently.  What would my life have been like had I looked and felt this good at 25, 30, 35?  Would I be married?  Would I have children?  Would I be a professional musician?

A person can go mad if they let themselves ruminate on these types of thoughts for too long.  I am who I am because of all of my choices, and the choices of those around me.  I’m a product of coincidence and my own creation.  No matter what, I can’t change anything that has happened. I can only try to guide my future….and even the future is not completely in my control.

Perhaps I’m not supposed to be married now or ever again.  Perhaps I’m not supposed to have children now or ever.  Perhaps I’m supposed to be doing exactly what I’m doing and how I’m doing it.

Being married and having children is not all it’s cracked up to be.  If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me “I love my husband….but I would never do it again” or “I love my kids….but I would never do it again” I would at least be able to buy several coffees at Starbucks.

I’m just trying to be the best me I can.  There is only one me.  In the last few years I’ve worked really hard at loving myself, forgiving myself and others, letting go, etc….and the culmination of that work brought me to May 30th, 2012.  And now life is just so good I can barely stand it!

Yay for me!  Yep.  Yay for me!  

Guess it’s time for bed.  Later peeps.

I can’t believe I forgot to mention this…..


I’ve had an interesting “problem” that last several days that I have not experienced in years.  

If you recall, from blog entries past, I’ve been overwhelmed by shopping, because of all of the choice.  It’s still that way to a point, but it’s better.  I’ve tried on enough ladies sizes 12-14-16 and XL (not women’s sizes 14W-16W and 1X, 2X) to trust that most of what I grab from the rack is going to fit.  Some things run small, but that happens even if you are 90 pounds or 500 pounds. But 90% of what I try on fits.  It’s still unbelievable to me, but it’s really cool.  I can try on 75 pieces of clothing (no exaggeration….I probably tried on 75 pieces of clothing the other day at SAVERS) and not sweat.  It’s just so different.

But the coolest thing of all has happened in the last few days.

See, when you are large (and for me this was really anything 220+ pounds, for some it might be 250+, and some it might be 175+) you simply buy for “this will do”.  As in “that fits good enough, it looks good enough, and the price is good enough”.  You know you are going to pay premium because you have the audacity to be fat and use extra material.  So you simply have a lower bar.  The bar that asks “would I embarrass myself or others if I wear this?”; the bar that asks “will this do?”.  


So in the last few days I’ve turned a corner where I’m trying on clothes and everything looks great.  Everything looks cute.  I get to be picky.  I get to try things on 4 times before I decide to take it, or not.  It becomes “is this the best one?” “do you like this one more than the other 5 that looked good?”.  And I get to really factor in price.  It’s a whole new world.

I used to look atrocious in dresses so I haven’t had one in years.  Years.  Years.  Did I mention years?  I’ve had maybe a handful of skirts, because 2 pieces looked better than 1….just how my body goes with clothes.  But I now am the proud owner of 2 dresses.  And I look very nice in them.  Actually, I feel quite outstanding in them too.

So that’s that.



OK, so I’m doing a quick blog while I’m listening to my grad school class chat.

I found a swimsuit.  It took a village.  Told you it would.

I had swim pieces and parts from Kohl’s, Carson Pirie Scott, and Spanx.  And the winner…………bottom from Carson Pirie Scott, top from Spanx.  And I look like the after picture of Jabba the Hut’s mother.  😉

I have 2 dresses, of which I will take one and save one for other occasions.  I bought underclothing (I needed to anyway) and one new set of PJ’s (I needed to anyway).

Long story short….I’ve been shopping without my mom, so overbought to try things on for her at home so she could help me decide, then I did a round of returns this evening.  CRAZY!!!

This weekend I have to be sequestered with my final exam.  I also have to fit in my good friend for a Friday night dinner & shoe shopping.  Saturday is a hair trim.

I prepared some meals for over the weekend today while I prepared tonight’s dinner.

I’m making myself tired just looking at this.

And…..I’m putting a bow on a few things at work before I head out as well.

But I can’t wait!  To get out of town will be just what the doctor ordered!  To be in the warmth and sun will be heavenly!  To be in the company of someone I genuinely admire, enjoy, and adore will be the icing on the cake.

On the diet front I weighed in at 191.1 this morning….so 14.2 lost in one week.  I’m down 2 inches in my waist since my last official weigh-in at my clinic on 3/28.  My coach thinks the 15 pound gain was water weight but also inflammation of insides being really mad at me for eating crappy food.  We also talked about my vacation and what I’m going to do about eating.  Long story short……no alcohol for me (no big loss) because people can black out if they drink while in ketosis.  Also, I’m going to go ahead and have some desserts, but for the most part stick to my products (which I’m bringing) and also protein and veggies.

Oh, and she just attended a 4 day seminar of Ideal Protein where the experts spoke for one hour….one full hour….on why people in Phase 1 should NOT run.  Yep.  So I really was fighting myself for 3 months.   Starving all the time and losing muscle.  Great.  At least I’m on the straight and narrow again.

Rock on!