I will blog more about this tomorrow, but I’m heading into a different phase of my weight loss journey. Should be interesting. I’m not without concern….but I will learn as I go and will share it as I do.
On a completely unrelated note my life is being enhanced by a new person. Over the last few years I’ve met plenty of new people…some good, some bad. This one feels like a really special secret that I don’t want to share because I want to nurture the situation and let it grow into something really beautiful. The first 4 days were intoxicating, then I panicked and got weird, and the past 2 days were special and simple and lovely. Sturdy. Rooted. Enjoyable. Solid. Patient. Good.
And yeah, hot.
But really really good.
Some clarity has arrived.
Tonight I’m going to have a discussion with my weight loss coach. Even before knowing the results of my blood test with my liver enzymes I’m going to stop phase 1-2 of IP and go into phase 3-4.
Because of all of the negotiating with products and calories I’ve had to do just to be able to exercise I’ve slowed my weight loss to one pound per week. This is FINE. However, if that is all it’s going to be then I need to get a healthier balance in there, and that means carbs. Not the crappy processed carbs…..but thoughtful carbs. Fruits, all vegetables, some breads….
It’s time to go to this next phase of my journey.
I’m also grateful for a new person who has entered my ecosystem who has a lot of wisdom and has done much guiding in the past week. You are a very wise person, and I’m grateful for that wisdom to drift around me.
I can’t write about this without really writing about it. So I guess I can’t write about it. I’ll just list what I’m feeling.
In no particular order:
- feeling like I might vomit
- nervous energy
- other things not for a blog
So there you have it. Clear as mud.
In other news, I’m down a pound…back to 190-something from 191-something yesterday. WHATEVER. I chewed a pack and a half of gum today getting through a work fire I needed to attend to, and just overall feeling very PMS-like.
Things certainly happen when you least expect it, and then it’s like the earth shifts. I’m a bit unsettled. I had a picture of what I thought the next few months might look like…..and now it’s looking different. However, if the end result is what you wanted, does it really matter that it’s now instead of 6 months from now? I’m thinking no. Only time will tell.
After all, there’s never the perfect time for [insert life event here….example: divorce, death, job loss, tornado damage, falling for someone and having a someone when you didn’t have a someone even one week earlier and now all you want is to be with the someone and it’s probably not rational to feel that way].
Although the weight thing is annoying right now, my boss told me that I’m looking thinner every day. It’s got to be the exercise. My body is really changing, even if the scale isn’t moving. Maybe I am building muscle like people keep telling me I am.
On a personal level, I’m in a period of intoxicating happiness and excitement. I actually felt for a moment this afternoon that I might be sick to my stomach or that I might become emotional because of strange feelings I haven’t had in a while are floating all around me right now. I’m enjoying the heck out of life right now, and I’m trying to live in the moment and be grateful for all good things coming my way. And if one of the good things is…….well……I’m not saying.
OK stalkers….off to watch the rest of the results of Dancing with the Stars. How come Len always got mad at Maks for having his shirt off, but Derek gets to have his shirt off and Len says nothing? I really do not want to see Derek with his shirt off……
Don Music was a Sesame Street character for a short period of time in the 1970’s. Forgive me if I’ve blogged about him before. Point is, he was taken off after a season or two due to parental complaints that children were committing self-harm due to Don (or there was the potential). He would play the piano and get frustrated and beat his head against the keys.
So today, with ye olde weight loss, I feel like Don Music, the after picture.
191-something. Really? REALLY?????????
What is it now, oh fickle body of hell? Too much gum? Too many brussels sprouts? What? WHAT??????? My period, which comes I swear to God every 2-3 weeks STILL. Is Saturn in conflict with other planets?
I see my doctor on Friday, and they will have the results of my latest blood test. If my liver enzymes are still out-of-whack and no better (they’ve been out-of-whack since July), then I’m going to phase off of phase 1+2, and get to maintenance….then just do pure calorie counting and exercise to get the rest of the way. 10 months of 50 carbs or less is not working with all of the running….and I’m not giving up the running. It’s too good for my stress levels, my cardio-vascular, everything….
I will do this, because I can do anything now. It just may take me longer.
And to that I say “whatevs”.
Hear me now, carbs…..I will conquer!
Tonight I ran for 29 minutes. I didn’t feel like keeping track of how many laps I did, because I’m not in this for speed. I can tell I’m running faster overall. I can tell my body does not take as long to find a rhythm. Another thing I find interesting is when the little couch to 5k man gives me the 2 minute warning I’ve been able to step it up and finish really strong the last several times I run.
Where I run there is a lovely indoor track with 4 lanes. The inner lane is walk only. The next over is walk-run, and the outer 2 are run only.
I have to take this moment and talk about some etiquette here.
Twice now I’ve seen this one particular woman….I would put her in her 50’s somewhere. I give her credit for walking at the gym. I really do. That said, she walks fairly slow, and does not run. She does not walk fast enough to pass other walkers. Why does this woman insist on walking in the walk-run lane so those of us running have to have another obstacle (because she hugs the run lane)? Ugh. Sometimes I just want to say “move it, lady!”
Then there is the little guy who just runs circles around me. I usually try to run in the walk-run, or the first run only lane. There is always room in the outermost run lane for the little guy to pass me. Oh no. He always passes on the inner lane. I don’t know why, but that annoys me.
I find it really interesting that when I run I do not run out of breath, or even breathe heavy. I think that’s good. Maybe I’m not doing it right. I look forward to running with my work spouse for the first time so he can tell me how crappy I am at all of it. LOL.
OK, stalkers….I’m off to bed. Had several pieces of gum today….not cool. Ugh. Gum is of the devil.
From the thrift store. Good, in style jeans. The best part……..