115 Days, 68.3 pounds, and 10 bags of clothes

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I’m becoming an expert at homework avoidance.  About 7:30 I decided to go through my clothes that were hanging in the closet.  I’ve done this before, but not for 20 pounds or so.  Since the start of my journey I’ve been packing clothes away into garbage bags, and putting them in my closet.  I decided tonight it was safe to put them in the trunk of my car, even if I drive around with them for a while before dropping them off for donation.  And, like the title says, there were 10 bags.

Today marks 115 days on the diet, and as of this morning I’ve lost 68.3 pounds.  I’ve lost an average of 3.57 pounds per week for the last 4 weeks, so I can safely say that staying to 50 grams of carbohydrates per day or a little less has been the magic number for me.  If I keep at this rate, I will hit my next MAJOR milestone in early December.  Regardless, it would be nice to hit it by the first of the year, as that should be great motivation to keep me on the straight and narrow through the holidays.

I had my first pizza dream/nightmare last night.  I was somewhere where there was stuffed, deep dish, and thin crust pizza.  I was so scared that my coach would be mad at me, and I was so scared that having one little cheat would start a bad pattern of little cheats until I was in a failure cycle.  So even in my dreams I’m not indulging.  I don’t know if that’s good or bad.  On one hand, it would be nice if at least in my dreams I could eat as much pizza as I want…..

When I started this program I weighed more than 150 pounds more than my mom.  She’s lost 10 pounds since I’ve been on the program.  Today I now weigh 98 pounds more than my mom.

One thing I’m starting to be aware of, and it’s surprising to me, is that I’m actually an attractive woman.  Of course I never thought so when I was 68 pounds heavier.  I never thought so when I was 50 pounds lighter than I am now (and in my late teens), but no one thinks they are pretty in their teens/early 20’s.  But now I look in the mirror and I’m like “wow”.  My coach tells me all the time how pretty I am (and she’s married and not hitting on me).  And…I’ll be honest…I’m starting to get a bit more attention from men.  This is something I’m going to really struggle with, as men have never paid attention to me.  In college, as a size 16, I was huge compared to my size 4/6 friends, and did not get men’s attention then (that I noticed).  So I’m going to be naive about this whole thing, which I’m actually not looking forward to.  I’ve read that when you are smaller it’s harder to be able to read true intentions of men.  I guess the bright side is I suck at that anyway, so whatever.

OK, stalkers, I’m outta here.

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